Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
  • entries
    3
  • comments
    5
  • views
    459

Surprise story preview, partly

Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
OcR Otter

198 views

So I am slowly working on this story, sadly when I was working on this my comp crashed and I only had this on my comp, so I have this thus far.

The story I am just calling the letters series, here is letters 1 to 6, this is still a work in progress. So yea, whats you think? I may occasionally post more of these up.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Week 3, day 1

So you sent me here as a scout, in a full blown war. You said nothing, NOTHING, about the war, you just said it would be a quick pop in, pop out mission and that I would only be here for a week, maybe nine days max. in the last three I have been caught by two different groups, managed to escape both times, barely, I was also shot at, on five separate occasions, almost killed twice, and fell off a cliff. I thought you held me in a higher respect. I thought you were trying to kill me after I found out there was a full on war here.

Week 3, Day 3

Really? You think that response calms my fear for my life? Really? Just because we have tougher skin than their shots can penetrate you think I am safe? How? Ok, I am calm now. But could you please inform me as to why you really sent me here and why these people are so important? I feel that if I am here I should be able to be allowed to know.

Week 4, Day 1

You didn't reply, why? What are you hiding? You said you wanted me to find the best and brightest of their race, that was all, but I want to know why. You have given me no clues to what you want them for. But from what you said I have found three members of their race, but it is hard to get close to them, their people are similar to our own, but their social structure is different to ours, and even though we claim that our social structure produces intelligence I have noted that their structure produces some that far more intelligent than the brightest in our home. What is it that you want from them?

Week 4, Day 2

So that's it is it? You really claim that we need to kidnap these kids and raise them in our own society? But how can we tell we have the best? Even the smartest has about average intelligence at their youngest ages? And what do you want them for? We can't just take them from their schools. We have no authority to do that here.

Week 4, Day 3

So that's it? You want them to be our leaders and produce a new society of people for us? Then you want the strategic thinkers to lead armies, against who? And why? Do you know what I have been through every day? Burning hot suns, freezing cold nights? And what for? Generals, Commanders? And you want them removed from their home?

Week 4, Day 4

Of course, you want them to fight our war, the one we have been in for decades, for almost as long as most of us have been alive. That was always your plan, take what you can, and if you find something new take that too. Why? What for? To kill our enemies when they have their own to fight.


Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0


1 Comment


Where are the responses? Those seem vital to the both plot and character development. The suspension you have here is nice, the mystery is pretty good, but you should allow the reader to sympathize with the main character here by having responses that refuse to answer most of the questions your MC has, which means both the reader and the MC are in the same boat.

Share this comment


Link to comment