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The Mom, The Dad, and How Do I Go Up The Stairs?

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The1 NinjaKitty

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Even though I was asked to return to rides, the supervisors above my supervisors said I was needed on the obstacle course during the training season, seeing as how with recent people quitting I am now the #4 veteran up there. They trained me on how to use the cash register so that I can now (legally) use it.

Anyways, to the point: part of being on the cash register means I need to make sure people don't go in with short-shorts on. This is against the Ghostly Gangplank's dress code for a number of reasons, though the officially stated reason is that the harness would chafe the inner thigh (they're basically rock climbing harnesses). Here is my experience in dealing with this rule, when a mom and her daughter (~10) wanted to go on:

Me: That'll be $11.02 for two - and can I have you two stand straight with your arms flat against your side? ...Ok, rules up here state that shorts need to be at least down to your fingertips, so you'll need to wear these medical shorts over your clothes or not go on the course.

The Mom: Are you calling my daughter a slut?

Me: No, but if she go up there with shorts that small people will be able to see parts of her I'm pretty sure you don't want them seeing.

The Mom: Like who?

Me: I don't know, pedophiles? Like it or not, there are registered pedophiles in this state, and I bet a lot of them come here from time to time.

The Mom: I don't care about pedophiles. My daughter is going up there and she does not need to wear those shorts.

Me: ...I'll just call my manager.

Eventually she agreed to the medical shorts. Of course, just because someone gets on the course, doesn't mean they get to stay there. We have rules, and people who break the rules are either warned (minor offense) or removed (major offense). Two minor offenses = one major offense and thus expulsion.

Later in the day I'm on the fifth floor slide making sure kids don't try to murder themselves by going head-first, when I see someone zip-line out of the corner of my eye. Now we don't have an actual zip-line on the course, however if you just pull yourself up so all your weight is on the rope attached to your harness, which is attached to the overhead tracking system, you can zip-line down the staircases. This is a big no-no and qualifies as a major offense, no matter how little or far they zip-line.

Naturally, I tell my co-worker, who is on the course at the time and missed the action because he was watching someone else. By the time he gets to the kid, the kid has already entered the third level slide area, and if you perform a major offense you're not allowed to go down the slides. So, I call down to my co-workers on the third level and tell them what's up. They turn the kid away, but he then magically appears at my slide with his dad.

Note: This happened during a shift change.

Me: -to the kid- You're not going down the slides.

The Dad: Why ain't he goin' down?

Me: Because I saw him zip-lining, and that's against the rules.

The Dad: He didn't zip-line! He's too afraid to zip-line!

Me: I watched him do it. He's not going down.

The Dad: You little shit. You're full of shit!

Me: Oh, well, now both of you aren't going down.

The kid: Dad, let's just go...

The Dad: No! I paid for this, we're gonna go on!

Me: No, you're not. Go down the stairs, sir.

The Dad: I want to talk to a manager.

Me: Then you need to go down the stairs.

The Dad: No. You go down the stairs.

Me: Uh, no. You need to.

The Dad: Call your manager up here! I want to talk to 'im!

Me: You need to go down the stairs to call a manager.

The Dad: You call a manager.

Me: Sir, do you see a phone up here? Go down the stairs, talk to the people on the register, and call the manager from there.

Finally, he leaves. But then he comes back not two minutes later.

The Dad: I talked to the manager and he said we could go down.

Me: Really? What'd he look like?

The Dad: He was that guy right down there below you, in the orange.

Me: Uh-huh...Sir, my manager is a woman, and she wears a blue polo.

The Dad: Well those two people said they didn't see anything!

Me: They just got here. OF COURSE they didn't see it. Now go down the stairs or I call security.

The Dad: I want to talk to your manager!

Me: FOR THE LAST TIME, IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO A MANAGER YOU NEED TO GO DOWN THE STAIRS AND USE THE PHONE DOWN THERE. I DON'T HAVE A PHONE UP HERE. WHERE DO YOU SEE A PHONE?!

The Dad: You're full of shit.

Finally, he leaves, and finally the person who is meant to replace me arrives. As I'm going down the stairs I see that he broke the spirit of one of the newbies and got down the third floor slide. Also, just as I'm going further down the stairs to get the fuck outta there, I overhear a nice little conversation between the newbie and a kid:

Kid: How do I go up the stairs?

Newbie: You...you use your feet, kid. Why would you...

They have a lot to learn before I can get back to my lovely little paid-button-pushing job.


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2 Comments


Stupid people are awesome.

Now I know where you get your patience to deal with me ;)

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